I think I have a first call horror story that tops them all...
When I was in my 20s I worked in security at a nursing home. Small home - on the weekends there was only a single person on duty. One particular weekend, when I came on shift, I was notified that someone had just expired, and the funeral parlor would be there shortly. Seems to me that most of the first calls around here are freelancers, or at least at that time they were. The first call was usually someone with a van or a station wagon using their personal vehicle. A guy comes up to the desk and presents his ID to pick up the deceased... I told him to drive around to the loading dock and I would meet him there. He informed me that he was already there, so I said "great, follow me" and took him down to the basement. We got the woman out of the chiller and onto a gurney, and wheeled her out to the loading dock. When the doors opened, there was nothing there but a Toyota Corolla. I turned to the guy and said, "I thought you told me you were in the loading dock?" He replied, "I AM - that's my car" In shock I asked, "where do you think we're going to put HER?" and he told me in the back seat! As I was propping the deceased up against a car seat and putting a seat belt on to hold her in place, the only thought I could think of was "BOY, YOU NEED THE MONEY BAD!!!" I hope he got wherever he was going before full rigor set in... In retrospect, I was compliant because I was just a naive kid... If that would have happened today, I would have drop-kicked his ass out of there and told him to come back when he was serious.
