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Walter Suiter
05-07-2017, 01:42 AM
Federal Agent! OK Ambulance Driver, I Win.

It had been a busy night, and I was tired because I came in from my day job to do what I anticipated to be a relaxing 10 hour shift. By 6 the following morning I had 4 runs and had managed to grab maybe a couple hours sleep thanks to a Fire standby. I'd just closed my eyes on the miserable excuse for a couch somebody had dragged in from a curb in a better neighborhood when the damn Edwards horn went off followed by the PA speaker Junior personally inspected for maximum Decibel level every day. The plick dispatching was holding down both PA and Transmit for the radio as he put out the job. 24 & 26 cars, report of a major crash on the Can of Worms, 28 & 29 move up to prestage replacement of 24 & 26. By the time I had my shoes pulled on I knew if Junior listened to the tape Tag in 24 was in for a docking and ass chewing, he'd been sitting with the engine running because Motracs required a full 30 seconds for the transmitter tubes to heat up. Good, if his ass got chewed something I'd done might not come to attention. I walked toward the car and punched the intercom to announce 29 rolling as I passed it on my way out the door. Bob who was riding with me already had the electric heater out and the door closed as I slid behind the wheel and lit her off. I pulled out of the shed, flipped the lights and headed for Exchange Street, blooping the electronic as I went in case any pedestrians were on the sidewalk.

Fortunately, I was one of the drivers who always stopped just short of the sidewalk because as I got there some goof in a raincoat is jumping out of a car that just blocked half of the driveway holding his hand up yelling Federal Agent. Bob's got the PA mic in his hand telling the goof to get out of the way, and the 180 pounds of Stupid is determined he's going to stop 6000 pounds of green Cadillac with a tired annoyed off driver behind the wheel. He got smart enough to move 3 feet to the side when I interpreted his yelling Federal Agent to mean he wanted to hear the freeroller on 29 car that torqued the roof. Left foot on button slight pause in acceleration as the alternator went to full output, and I politely questioned the Federal Agent's IQ & parents marital status. I hear CLEAR and I'm hauling ass Northbound. Now I gotta remember where 26 was sitting prestaged. I check the mirrors and the damn fools in the car who had been blocking the driveway are on the back bumper. 28 is on the radio yelling there are cars blocking the driveway and he can't get out.

It's gonna be a fun day at the Ambulance company. I stop at Court Street for the light and the fool I've been watching in the mirror hanging out his car window with a hand spotlight jumps out to run up next to the Caddy. I'm gone and the electronic is doing its thing as I hang a turn onto Broad. Company radio is quiet so I request Dispatch to call the PD and tell them I need some help with a lunatic on my bumper. From the sound of siren tunes I know City Pumpers and Trucks are heading for the Can of worms on a second alarm assignment,, so I wheel onto the expressway to join the parade. I can always sit on the off ramp over at Culver and see what happens. Stupid's still on my bumper as a City cop comes alongside, so tap the brake, I kick it and the cop pulls between me and Stupid. Stupid got himself damn near attached to the concrete wall, and I grabbed the ramp at Culver. A minute later Tag is announcing the Fire Chief is on scene, and wants 4 cars on the job, with one down at the bottom level. Great, 2 mile ride to get onto 47E Southbound, but what do I care. I radio in I'm taking the 47 assignment and ask where 28 is. He's still blocked in at the barn, and the nutcases are IRS Agents. I figure they ain't looking for me cause I don't make enough money as I roll down Culver. When I get to the can there is nothing showing on 47 so I call Tag to ask what he's got on top. Lot of bent metal, not much blood, stay put in case the car hanging on the guardrail falls. I return to nap mode.

About an hour later Fire calls it secure, and I head back to the barn. I call available and Dispatch tells me to stay away from the barn, Junior don't want any cars coming in till his Lawyer gets there. I ask if I'm getting paid to hide. Junior calls from Car 2 to inform me 29 Car will be switching crews on the street, and to wait for the day crew at the Firehouse at Broad & Allen. Fine by me. When they showed up I gave them a ride in the jump seats over to the street behind the barn, grabbed my bag and walked down the hill to the parking lot. I got in my pickup and headed for the driveway. The IRS guys were still blocking it. 28 Car had a lovely foot square sticker on the windshield saying seized by IRS. So did the front door. I talked my way through the roadblock after showing them my Registration. I waved at Junior hiding in Car 2 as I passed him waiting for his Lawyer down by the Public Safety Building. I figured I'd ask for 5 runs pay for the shift, between the IRS crap and the standby.

A few more blocks and right there beckoning me is a phone booth in front of the RedTop diner. I'll ask for the dime back when I get back to work. Hi George, since you answered the phone I figure Junior didn't call and tell you. ~~~~~ smoke coming from phone, Well George, what I am absolutely sure of is the barn has a sticker on the door says something about seized and IRS, 28 is blocked in the driveway by feds and has one of them stickers on its windshield, Junior ordered everybody on the street to stay away from the barn, and I swapped 29 with the day crew over at the firehouse. As I was coming North on Exchange I saw Junior hiding in 2 car under the Troop Howell and I didn't put a scratch on 29 sliding out the driveway around the feds.. I kind of thought you'd want to know. Been a hell of a night George and I'm heading home. It was good I held the phone away from my head, flames were coming from the earpiece. I had happy thoughts on the ride to my place.

Kurt Arends
05-07-2017, 12:42 PM
Walter,
These "recollections from the past" are what I look forward to most in jumping on this site daily. Do you write novels?? If not, you should. Thanks for sharing these stories! I hope that you are writing them down as well!

Walter Suiter
05-07-2017, 01:31 PM
Confession: I have a tremendous advantage, Rochester, NY.

I spent the last 10 years of my working life translating Industrial mechanical tradesman to Contract Administrator, Government employee or the ultimate fun, government manager.
Those 2 groups can not and will not directly communicate. I also did some translation in the field of Lawyer/Industrial contractor.

Evidently I have some unique abilities, like being able to see what's in front of me and remember it, or hear and retain. I am also either blessed or cursed with a good memory going back to childhood. I am also a student of SunTsu, having read his work 16 times.

Yes, I prewrite these little stories, and often set them aside because I am sure nobody who didn't live through the event would ever believe it. I also spend considerable time searching my computer trying to finde where the hell I put something. Thumb drives are wonderful things.

I am absolutely certain having watched the show called Life, you can get away with damn near anything if you have a Law License (probably why they cost $2000- a year here). Lawyers are ultimately entertaining.

As the old John Michael Montgummery song says, "Life's a dance you learn as you go". The trick is to repeat only the good parts.

David Henry
05-07-2017, 02:19 PM
Like Kurt, I have enjoyed these glimpses of your and others ambulance life.