View Full Version : For those of you not at Gettysburg....

Brady D Smith
01-12-2017, 10:47 PM
I was just sorting out my Gettysburg file to archive it and came across the text of Abraham Hamlin's Modernized Gettysburg address. It is so much of a hoot that I thought I would post it here.

After the one line introduction: “Some fear that Lincoln’s words may lack relevance to the current generation. We disagree.” Abe enters wearing a stove-pipe hat and dark glasses. The text of his speech follows.

Yo - how ya doin’?
Back when, the oldsters came up with, like, a far-out idea for a country, being, everyone is laid back and righteous. Fast forward, we got dudes going all bullet city, harshing on each other out in the boonies and some are thinking, oh snap, this might not last. We need to suss this out.
So what up? We’re not here for Pokemon Go. We’re taking five to get mellow about this peapatch, where lots of folks bought it, and hit the loud pedal about them. Not everyone will dig it, though, what went down here.
So chill - we can’t just podcast to the whole Web better than the late lamented, because they be chillin for real, and put the shine on the mud yonder. The homeys, those still packing, can’t bag it ’cause the Fat Lady hasn’t sung yet; we got to tie this scene up so it doesn’t end up in the memory hole. Everybody, stay mellow and all but keep a foot on the loud pedal so everyone can text truth to the Cloud, otherwise some will
think, this was unreal. And keep the faith so this fab operation can get it together for another bunch of calendars to see it doesn’t go crackers and become a complete nutter, dig? OMG.
Solid. Swipe right, y’all.

John ED Renstrom
01-12-2017, 11:59 PM
I wounder what he said I only caught a little of it.